How to Start Living By Your Own Rules

Hi Sexy Soul!

Why don’t we change the rules? In this article, I talk about rules and why the truly are made to be broken and what you can do.

Read to find out:

1) What Wendy Williams did that I Couldn’t Ignore
2) How my former coworker cleavage-shamed me
3) JOURNAL EXERCISE: How To Create Your Own Rules

Rule: One of a set of explicit or understood regulations or principles governing conduct within a particular activity or sphere.

WHAT WENDY WILLIAMS DID THAT I COULDN’T IGNORE

When Wendy Williams admonished Kim Kardashian for taking a picture of her body, I really tried to ignore it.

I really did.

Wendy Williams (l) Kim Kardashian West (r)[/caption]

I like both women but the more I tried to ignore it the more annoyed I became. It was evidence of the “rules” …those darn rules popping up again.

Why don’t we change the rules?

Really…WTF does it matter to Wendy Williams or anyone how Kim shows her body. If Kim wants to show her body to the world all day every day…it’s her body she can do whatever the hell she wants to do with it.

Kim looks amazing. She is proud of the shape she is in after two pregnancies and she has a right to post whatever pictures she wants to post.

Not only did Wendy make a comment about Kanye not being able to “Control Kim” ???? but Wendy also said that Kim “Made too much money” to have to do that.” ???

But let’s be clear…the reason why Kim and her family are so successful is because they do not stop being who they are “because they hit a certain tax bracket.”

The reason why they are so loved (and so hated) is because they are who they are regardless of who is watching. This is why they are able to be so successful. This is why they are able to reach heights that most of the greater public never will.

What I gather to bet is that there is a little bit of Wendy that wished she could have the confidence to show up in the world like Kim not caring what other people say.

And don’t get me wrong, Wendy is very bold and confronting. Wendy doesn’t withhold her tongue for anyone.

But the way she came so hard for Kim has me thinking that there is something else behind that.

Remember the things that frustrate or trigger us have to do with what we have going on inside. Check out my article on Triggers ==>HERE : Triggers Are About You

HOW MY FORMER CO-WORK CLEAVAGE-SHAMED ME

To bring this to a more personal situation, back when I was still working in Corporate America, I was at work and one of my former female colleagues decided to point out that my cleavage was showing.

She was concerned because there were male co-workers in the area.

Well DUH.

I was quite taken aback. I always prided myself on being professional over my years in corporate so this got to me. My shirt wasn’t “unprofessional”. The shirt wasn’t even a deep v-neck.

I am a woman with curves and ample chest so I have cleavage in ANY SHIRT I wear.

I am sooooooo proud of my breasts and I have too much style to Little House on the Prairie it either.

HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE

I finally took the time to really think about it.

I came to the conclusion Fuck it – I’ve got big boobs. I wear v-neck shirts because they look best on me and if anyone is uncomfortable turn your head.

Honestly, some man’s inability to control his own physical body (eyes and whatever else) at my place of employment is not my problem.

Why is it OK to shame women for whatever they do with their own bodies?

It’s not.

What is the difference between the IG picture and a picture in a Victoria’s Secret catalog or some other magazine? NOTHING just some rule.

What is the difference between a man’s bare chest and a woman’s bare breast? NOTHING except for some rule created by some person hundreds of years ago.

This world has so many rules and most of them contradict each other.

Rules like:

It’s ok to wear a barely-there swimsuit but the booty shorts nope that’s wrong
It’s ok for this single guy bachelor to kiss every single girl on the show but Bachelorette Rachel… oh no she is a super slut cause she kissed some guys to see if she could have a connection with them.
A woman can’t wear that sexy dress anymore. Why? Oh because she is a mother now?
A woman needs to cut her hair because she is over 40.
Girls are to be good, close their legs, cover their bodies, don’t show cleavage, etc, etc…

Enough is enough.

Rules?

We create them.

We choose to follow them.

We can choose to CHANGE them.

Journal Exercise: 3 Steps to Creating Your Own Rules

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JOURNAL EXERCISE: 3 STEPS to CREATING YOUR OWN RULES

(1) DETERMINE WHAT RULES AREN’T WORKING FOR YOU

Take inventory to your life. Ask these questions:

What rules do you feel aren’t allowing you to live fully as you desire?
What kind of life do you want to live?
What rules are you buying into that isn’t allowing you to live that life?

(2) CHANGE THEM TO SOMETHING THAT WORKS BETTER FOR YOU

What rules does the YOU who ALREADY lives your desired life live by?
What is #normal and #ofcourse for her”?
Write your new list of Rules. State them in the present because they are now the rules you live by.

(3) REPETITION

Every day, re-write your new rules.
Read the rules aloud with feeling and certainty so that you shift your subconscious and it becomes your DEFAULT way of living.

JOURNAL PROMPT