The Bachelor and Shadow Work 101


Hi Gorgeous,

In this article, I talk about triggers and how they are your best friend.  Also, stay tuned for 6 Steps to truly tapping into what is up and releasing quickly.  It’s Shadow Work on Steroids and you get to lift your vibe and shift your energy all courtesy of The Bachelor.


Read to learn:

  • (1) What a Bachelor Episode Help Me Realize
  • (2) Why Triggers Are Good
  • (3) What Shadows Are
  • (4) How to Integrate Your Shadows
  • (5) Introduction to Shadow Work
  • (6) Ways to Do the Shadow Work
  • (7) Journal Prompt Exercise to become aware of your triggers








Anyone who watches The Bachelor knows that there are always the girls who are portrayed as the “Villain”.  She is normally someone who is very confident to the point that she would annoy even the most aligned person.  Well, season 23 is no exception.  There are a few women who will get under the skin of Ladies everywhere.  

So far the “Villains” are shaping up to be:



  • Catherine – She had the audacity to interrupt ladies and “take time” away as she went to speak to Colton 4 times. Of course, I am being facetious because she is doing what is expected when sharing a date with 30 other women.  She was on her best behavior for Episode 2, so I will give her a break.
  • Oyeka – She loves to throw around the word biyatch in a playful way but it could get old really quickly.  She also has a fondness of loudly interrupting conversations with bullhorns. She is harmless but she seems to be an interesting choice for producers to use to “Aggravate the Biyatches.”
  • Demi – She is way too confident for the woman who she shares Colton with.  These women wear like badges on their insecurities on their slim shoulders.


In Season 23, Episode 2, Demi takes the prize for shooting the most triggers towards my direction and the direction of a few ladies at my party.  In this article, we will talk about her and how the things she may trigger in you can help you acknowledge and integrate various shadows that you weren’t previously aware of.






Demi had a busy night on Episode 2.  Demi is the 23-year-old contestant for the heart of Colton Underwood the 26-year-old Virgin Bachelor.  Demi is a beautiful young very confident woman. She says what is on her mind and she doesn’t hold back.  She doesn’t take herself too seriously which to many of the Season 23 Cast Members makes her “immature” and “childish.”  However, Colton seems to like the little firecracker and her more aggressive attitude and unshakeable confidence seems to intrigue him to continue moving forward. Of Course, Colton’s reaction to Demi is quite different than that of her fellow contestants. Particularly, Tracy is very offended by Demi and her inability to take this reality dating show more “seriously.”


To be honest, I don’t mind Demi’s confidence.  In fact, I think it is inspirational and can find aspects of it that I would like to incorporate.  Her belief that she is “…worth the world” and “..amazing” and “…worth everything” is something that every woman could embrace about herself as this is true not only for Demi but for you us all.


However, I will be honest with you.  There were some statements that I reacted to with a bit of annoyance and shook my head in frustration.  Her comments about age and “cougars” were not my favorite.


Some of the triggering statements she made:


  • “Elyse(‘s)…willing to admit that she was older in front of everybody…I thought she was “brave” for doing that.  It was so bold.”



  • “I mean there’s no advantage to being an older woman here.”



  • “…Cougar Attacks…”



Being 42 years young, these specific statements hit me and the more she said them it made me get more and more annoyed with her as a whole.  

You see, I had no problem with her confidence but I began to allow her statements that made it seem as though being older than 26 was a problem shift my perspective of her as a whole.  

Think about it.  When have you allowed someone’s statements to shift your entire view of them as a person?  Or when have you decided not to like someone because of a specific statement they have made?  It happens, right?









No Really.  Triggers are good.   The talk of age and how it wasn’t an advantage in this situation was a real trigger.  Instead of calling her a juvenile biyatch, I tapped into my why I felt this way.


Instead of reacting, I went within.  


I allowed myself to become aware of this trigger. What I observed was that I still held limiting beliefs about age that although my conscious mind would deny, deny, deny.  Outwardly I would say was this was BS and age was just a number but inwardly I still believed.


Instead of reacting, Go within. Click To Tweet


You see, if I truly believed that age was just a number, I wouldn’t have gotten so riled up by Demi’s statement.  If there wasn’t a shadow belief hiding then her actions would have rolled off my shoulders like water droplets off of Colton’s six-pack.



This trigger helped me realize that I wasn’t as WOKE when it came to age as I thought.  I still believed that as I moved through time, that I was at a disadvantage than say the young ladies who were in some cases 10 to 20 years younger than me.  This placed a spotlight on shadows that were hidden within me.


In life, sometimes you are surrounded by loved ones and people who think and believe similar to you.  This is great when it comes to lifting your vibration but you may find that you aren’t growing.


Triggers and people you disagree with are your best friend.  Not that you want to immerse yourself in this energy all day every day, but when you find yourself reacting to, annoyed by or upset by a situation it helps you to recognize shadows within that may be slowing your expansion and creating resistance.


I am not one of those coaches that tells you to focus on your limiting beliefs, because I know what you place your focus on grows.  BUT when something pops up and makes itself known, accept it as a gift, unwrap it and appreciate whatever it is uncovering.






Swiss psychologist Carl Jung explains that “Shadows” are parts of our self that we repress or deny.  These are the parts we are ashamed about or try to deem unacceptable.  As a child, you experience various experiences or traumas that cause you to hide various aspects of you that you deemed wrong or inappropriate.


Triggers help you identify the shadows.  


For example, if you were made fun of for being “too proud” or “too weak”, you may have the tendency to repress any parts of you that display those traits. You will go to great lengths not to show these parts of yourself to the world (or yourself.)

You can spot your shadow parts by increasing your awareness.  Pay attention to the things that you are very aware of in other people.  Things that “get your goat” or “piss you off”. Knowing that everything is energy and Reality is Your Mirror if you spot something within someone else the truth is you are recognizing it or the lack of it within yourself.


Shadows are parts of our self that we repress or deny.


When someone annoys you or when you make a big deal of something, guess what?  This is most likely a shadow. And Congratulations, now you get to acknowledge and love that side of you.


In the example above, the shadow that I was hiding from myself was about age and how I felt I was at a disadvantage because of it.  In the “Shadow Work on Steroids,” I will show you an example of how to work through this and quickly shift.


Shadow Work is normally a heavy topic.  This is my version that helps you not take this whole “law of attraction” “energy shifting” “living your best life now” thing so seriously.  Over the last 20 years, I have found that myself and anyone I am working with can shift energy best when there is a lightness of energy and a realization that we GET TO SHIFT and ADJUST with ease if we CHOOSE IT.  That doesn’t mean there won’t be tears or anger or strong emotion. It just means that we can use things like Reality TV to reveal what is going on and choose to shift as quickly as we want.


You get to shift and adjust with ease if you choose it.




It is first important to remember that there are no bad feelings.  What you feel is what you feel. That’s why I always say “hugs, kisses and ALL THE FEELZ.” because as children we are taught to feel a certain way and not feel another way.  Even in the traditional Law of Attraction circles, positive thinking is celebrated and negative thinking is shunned.


It is important to remember that all feelings are ok.  Sure you would rather feel happy than sad, but sadness is not bad.  What is more important than “putting on a happy face” when you feel like crap is to acknowledge and allow yourself to be aware that you do feel like crap.


Then and only then can you love and accept whatever situation is bringing up these feelings and allow the feelings to be felt, loved and integrated (dissolved).

The more you ignore the feelings, they fester and they get worse and more intense until you can no longer ignore them because the pain or discomfort is too great.  


Below I share my 6 step Shadow Integration process that helps you acknowledge, love, accept and quickly shift.  


Remember, When you ASK it is DONE.  When you carry these beliefs below, then this shift process can work for you and it will work very quickly.

  1. God (The Universe, Source etc) is on my side.
  2. God (The Universe, Source etc) is working for me
  3. When I ask it is done and done immediately
  4. I get exactly what I ask for when I ask for it.


One additional thing to remember, what you desire is available to you right now.  We are energy, we are ONE with Source/All that Is. Therefore, when you ask to dissipate something or when you ask for something to change, it happens IMMEDIATELY energetically.  After that, it is up to you to BECOME the ENERGY of HAVING it NOW so that you can allow the reality where it is DONE to UNFOLD into your REALITY.







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Introduction to Shadow Work



Here is my 6 step process for quickly integrating shadow sides and shifting beliefs with ease.  It is my belief that you can shift anything quickly.   Below I include an example of me shifting my beliefs about Age and the Shadows that were revealed from my Triggered reactions to the things Demi.


1 –  AWARE



Allowing yourself to become aware of what is really going on takes you from the high school diploma of personal development to the college level.  Then when you actually choose to view those awarenesses from an objective point of view with neutrality that is when you get into the Masters Program.

You don’t have to know why or when it happened or started with my process.  My goal is to keep this pretty simple and help you quantum shift into your new reality where you have integrated the shadow and can be your complete whole self who appreciates all sides of you and is CHOOSING to FEEL, THINK or BELIEVE a certain way.


Example: Based on how annoyed I was with Demi and some of her statements about Age, I chose to ask myself what was up and observe what came up.

Many feelings and beliefs were brought up like:

  1. Time is flying, I am too old to truly grow a successful business
  2. What am I thinking, I have missed my shot.
  3. People don’t want to listen to an “old bird” like me
  4. I felt unworthy
  5. I felt like I wasn’t enough

Just typing some of those beliefs helped me to realize how they didn’t align with the woman who has a successful business and is living her best life NOW.  That version of me knows that she is worthy and age is just a number that counts how a person moves through time. She knows that she is more than enough and that the only shots she misses are the ones she didn’t take.







Acknowledgment is key.  Your shadow and the feelings, emotions, thoughts, and beliefs that feed from this shadow are like children.  They just want to be acknowledged. They just want to be heard. So by you acknowledging that they are there without judgment, you are giving it exactly what it wants.


Example:  Now that I am aware of the feelings and beliefs that were brought up.  I am going to acknowledge them. I will say something like “Ok.  yes, interesting that I feel that I am too old to start a business.  Or interesting that I think my time is up.”  Something that acknowledges what I am now aware of with neutrality and objectivity.







Acceptance of this feeling, thought, or belief is next.  By you accepting that this is how you feel without judging it as bad or wrong, you are allowing this feeling, thought or belief to just be.

You do this by staying in the observer position.  Just observing the thought, feeling or belief.


Example:  Hmm that is interesting and you know what?  It is what it is. This is how I believe right now.  I think this way and it is fine.





Success & Abundance Quiz








By appreciating and loving the feeling, thought or belief, you allow it to integrate with ease.  This through, feeling or belief was created because your brain was protecting you. As a child, you adopted this belief because it was necessary for you to get where you are. When you can truly love and appreciate the belief, thought or feeling knowing that it is OK that you once believed that, you will find that the feeling dissipates.  It gets lighter.


Example: I choose to love and appreciate these beliefs.  They are here for a reason and I appreciate and love myself as I am. Thinking this way allowed me to work to get where I am and now I am ready to shift and change. You would go deeper into truly FEELING the LOVE and APPRECIATION for this belief or thought.  Looking at it without judgment remembering that it just is.






Now you are ready to release it.  Energy is not created or destroyed.  Energy just is. So you aren’t blasting this to another planet.  You are transmuting this energy and allowing it to dissipate and transmute shifting your energy into belief, emotion, feelings or thoughts you desire to feel more of.

Remember what you want already exists.  So before you have asked for this it is answered.  Expect Miracles. Expect things to go in your favor.  Expect that God is working for you and that The Universe is sending the exact thing you need at this very moment.


Example: Now that I am aware of these feelings, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, I now choose to dissolve them.  Thank you for everything you have done. I know you aren’t bad. I know you just exist. Now I choose to integrate you back to the earth and I choose to transmute this into energy of light.  Picture the darkness to going into light.

Or write about how it is ok.  And now it is floating away and now you have created space.  And the space you have created is now ready to be filled with thoughts of age being just that age.  And you being able to do whatever you desire regardless of how long you float through time.







Now is time to shift to new beliefs.  When I think of what I am allowing to manifest in my reality, I think of the woman I am who has what I desire and my question to myself is what does she believe about age?  What does she believe about her future and what is in store?


Example: Now I would choose what I decide now.  What does the me who has all of the things I am manifesting think?  How does she feel about this topic?  She knows that she is enough.  She knows that age is really just a number that measures my movement in time.  She knows that her success is inevitable because it just is apart of her.  She knows that she is worthy of all her desires.  She knows that God has her back and she knows that nothing or no one can stop her.








There are many ways to perform this work.  Here are my two favorite ways that I use for myself and with my clients.





In this way, with my clients, I connect to their energy in a focused and guided meditative state.  In order for you to do this, all you need to do is close your eyes and place your hands on your heart.  This will help you to connect to your Soul.

  • Quiet Your Mind
  • Connect to Your Heart (place your focus there and breath deeply)
  • Expand Your heart energy outward and focus on it expanding and circulating around you
  • Follow the steps above.







Writing is very powerful and helps you to focus. In order to do this, focus your attention on your heart with your eyes open.

  • Quiet Your Mind
  • Connect to Your Heart (place your focus there and breath deeply)
  • Expand Your heart energy outward and focus on it expanding and circulating around you
  • Write at the top of your Journal: I intend to allow myself to shift with ease.  I am so happy and grateful that what I ask is done immediately. Right now I ask for this to be integrated with loving care and I choose to believe exactly what I desire to believe now.
  • Then write what comes up.  Follow the steps above by writing.





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Journal Prompt


1) What has triggered emotion in you that you keep pushing away?


2) What have you been trying to manifest but it just isn’t happening?  


3) The hot neighborhood siren next door has this exact thing, what is your first thought?



Example: The gorgeous neighbor next door just got the promotion you wanted.  The first thing you think is that she slept with your boss to get it. HMMMM? Triggered much? Do you have some underlying feelings about femininity and how you can or cannot be your gorgeous feminine sexy self at work?  or Do you have any thoughts about women who are very sexy and embrace their sexuality and that they aren’t too smart or that it is wrong? There are many many thoughts that could be hiding underneath and be apart of those 54,000 thoughts that are unconscious out of the 60,000 total thoughts you have everyday.


Have fun with it. It doesn’t have to be life-changing or world changing to evoke growth in you.  Remember awareness is EVERYTHING. Just becoming aware of whatever it is allows you to CHOOSE something different.  It is all in the DECISION. If you are creating drama in an area of your life, you can acknowledge it and choose whether or not you want to continue.



JOURNAL PROMPTS: 1) What has triggered emotion in you that you keep pushing away? 2) What have you been trying to manifest but it just isn’t happening?  3) The hot neighborhood siren next door has this exact thing, what is your first thought?Click To Tweet





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In another article, I talk about how Ho’oponopono is similar to Shadow Work as it focuses on Acceptance of Everything in your Reality being your own creation.  Once you do this, you love and appreciate it giving it the love and appreciation it has been craving.


I will also discuss how everything is a mirror and how Tracy attracted Demi and her comments because of her insecurities about her age.


Also, find out what happened when I watched the episode again after doing the process above.  It is evidence that changing your perspective and expecting the shift allows you to shift and change quickly and allow in what you desire.


Until next time Remember your only job is to FEEL the FEELINGS, Be HER NOW and take AlignedSoul Action.



Hugs, Kisses & all the Feelz,

Christine Michelle

Be Her Now | Take AlignedSoul™ Action Today


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